Even While He's Asleep
by CosmosQueen
Summary: Thor Kinkmeme Fill: Loki uses the excuse "I'm pregnant" as an excuse for everything.


**Summary:** Prompt from Thor Kinkmeme: "'cos I've seen this done on Xmen during the divorce on the beach scene and it was frankly epic with what resulted. During Odin's Epic Smackdown Of Daddypowers, Loki tries to intervene. After Odin HAARGH's at him, Loki then blurts out he's pregnant, the first thing to come to mind to defuse the situation. (up to author if he is or not). Or hell, do it during any tense scene you like. Crack and seriousness encouraged."

**AN:** I actually wrote this two months ago. I was going to upload it, but I got distracted and then I was just too lazy to upload it. Oh, I may continue writing Rebirth of A Butterfly if I actually motivate myself to write since I came up with several ideas for an omake based on recent events in my life. I tend to avoid anything that requires any type of writing that reminds of an essay...I blame my English class and my College (oops, I mean SAT) Writing class.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Thor. Thor belongs to whoever it belongs to.

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The Warrior Three and Sif were wandering around the royal gardens in search of their friend Thor. They found him crouching near his brother, who was sleeping under the shade of the tree, intensely watching him.

The four friends shared looks of confusion until Fandral walked up to Thor with the others closely following.

"Thor! What are you-"

"Shhhh!" Thor shushed them, his gaze never leaving Loki's sleeping face and whispered, "Quiet my friends."

"Apologies Thor, but what exactly are you doing?" Fandral quietly asked.

"I heard someone once say that while one sleeps, he speaks the truth when asked."

"I have heard of this too, but why are you staring at Loki?" Volstagg asked.

Thor finally turned to look at them and said with a glint in his eyes, "If this rumor is indeed true, then even Loki will have to speak the truth."

The others pondered on this for a short moment. Hogun was the one to speak up this time. "Do you really think it's possible. I mean, Loki is the Liesmith and the God of Lies."

"While my brother is a notorious liar, even he is vulnerable in his sleep. And are we not brave warriors? Either this experiment succeeds or fails." The glint in Thor's eyes grew in intensity. "Think about it. He won't be able to lie and there would be no excuses! He won't be able to say that accursed excuse! We will finally see if he is at fault for the many treacherous deeds committed!" At this point, the glint made Thor look like a madman.

The Warrior Three and Sif had slowly backed away during his speech, but their faces grew thoughtful as the speech had progressed. The more they thought about it, the more the idea appealed to them. The four turned to each other to decide whether or not to aid Thor on this "quest."

"No more 'I'm pregnant'" Fandral murmured in awe. At this, everyone's faces brightened and gained a glint in their eyes.

"We will aid you on your quest as long as I ask the first question." Sif proudly said. At everyone's questioning looks, she glared and said, "I can finally get him to admit that he cut off my hair." The guys all gained looks of understanding.

"Then go ahead my lady." Thor gestured her forward. Sif smiled at him and silently walked up to Loki. The others followed her. She crouched in front of him, careful to not wake him up. "Loki, were you the one to cut off my hair?" she asked.

Loki stirred and opened his mouth to speak. Everyone leaned in, eager to hear his response. They all held their breaths, fearing that they may miss Loki's response.

"I'm pregnant." He mumbled. Everything was silent. Not even the birds or bugs let out a sound. Sif was giving off an enormous murderous aura. She stood and took out her weapon to maim the second prince. If she could have gotten away with it, she would have killed him. "AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHH-"

But before she could harm a single hair on Loki's head, Fandral and Volstagg grabbed her arms and started to drag her away. Thor, with her weapon in his hands which fell after she was grabbed, and Hogun followed them in case she escaped their grips.

"What are you- let go of me!" She demanded as she struggled to escape their grasps

"Can't do that." Volstagg grunted. "Can't have you be tried for killing Loki."

Sif screamed again and struggled even more. Fandral winced as she managed to kick him in the shins. "Calm down before-"

"Calm down? Calm down? I am CALM! LET. ME. GO!" Everyone winced at the scream, but the two did not loosen their grips on her. Thor and Hogun grabbed her legs before anymore injuries were inflicted. Together, the four men carried the furious woman into the palace where they were given a wide berth.

Throughout all this madness, Loki kept slept peacefully, oblivious to the chaos he unintentionally caused.

"LET ME AT HIM! LET ME AT HIM!" was heard by everyone in Asgard.

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**AN: **Hoped you enjoyed it. Please review.


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